Breathing though Anniversaries

Rene, one of my dearest friends who I met on the first day of 7th grade, and her husband Jared had a daughter today, their first. Child rearing here and now! I wish them all the blessings possible to support them with love in this parenting adventure. It started a little early! But really, due dates? Who needs them? Devlyn Michelle waits for no one.

I can't help but be reminded that the breath of life waits for none of us. This amazing joy, my niece(!) erupts into the world just as the 4th anniversary of another dear friend's death approaches, or maybe bears down on me would be better said. Kali's husband murdered her in their home, their sleeping baby boy in the next room 4 years ago tomorrow. When I found out I had just returned to my apartment after hearing the Dalai Lama speak. I had the surprising privilege of testifying at his murder trial 14 months later. I say privilege because the experience helped me make sense of the loss and finally I felt like there was a small something that I could do for her mom. I saw Kali's husband and Philip's father jailed for life that day. In Texas that means that he will be eligible for parole after 35 years. He will be 60 years old. A few months later I saw Philip adopted by his maternal grandparents, creating a loving, safe space for him in his jarring and confusing reality. He started first grade this month and when I look at him I see his mom in his lazy left eye. So as he looks out at each gorgeous Texas sunrise, his navy blue backpack and Scooby-doo lunch box overwhelming his small body on his way to his hippie school in the hills west of Austin, I wish him the breath of vivid life and the feeling of the wind on his cheeks. Finally, on her birthday, her first day in this world, I wish Devlyn and her parents all of the hope and love they will need to weather the storms and to live joyfully, breathing new life.