You gotta watch that miss

I almost never remember my dreams and I’m always jealous of all of the people who do remember what their subconscious was working through during their brains’ mini-vacations. In fact I get so jealous that I sort of hate listening to my friends’ dreams, but in spite of myself I love it when they try to think through what the weird and incongruous unreality might mean. So, I was giddy this morning when I realized that I remembered my dream. Last night I was awakened by a false smoke alarm (low batteries, all is well) and I think that because I was not sleeping quite so soundly I had a crystalline, memorable dream. I awoke terrified that it was real and was touching my arms and feeling around in my bed to try to get in touch with reality. Touching the sheet, smelling the waking, I realized where I was and had to smile.

I dreampt that was pregnant but for the entire pregnancy I hadn’t known it. Then, one day I was in the mall in Texas and just had a baby, not gave birth, just had a baby in my arms. The dream sort of skipped over the birth process. It was a girl. Oddly, in my dream I knew and was reasoning with all of the real details of my life. I recently returned from Peru, I even more recently ended it with my fiancée on a positive note; I am looking for work, etc. So, I had this baby and I sat down to breastfeed her in the neon encrusted and greasy smelling food court of south Austin’s own Barton Creek Mall. I walked away from the table and had a panic attack when I couldn’t find her. I guess she sort of slipped off while I was breastfeeding her and I didn’t notice. In my dream I was thinking, “Gee, this feels exactly like it felt when I was on my way to visit my family in St. Louis and I forgot my laptop at the gate in the airport.” I immediately ran back to the table and found the dream baby girl laying underneath, not crying but just waving her arms and legs and being a pre-person. The guy at the next table looked over, saw me picking her up and laughingly said, “Oh thank goodness. You gotta watch that miss.” Uh thanks random man. Maybe pick up the stranded baby next time?! Relief washed over me and then lightning struck, “Gasp. My ex-fiancée. She’s his too. How will he want to handle this? Good thing he’s far away.” The flash of light a la ex also brought new meaning to Random Man’s comment. “You gotta watch that miss.” I walked away breastfeeding the baby girl and wondering how to explain my personal immaculate conception and miracle birth to my parents. Then I thought, “You know, you are 30…”

Maybe this means that I will someday give birth to a laptop?

In sum there’s the unknown pregnancy, forgetting the baby girl, an odd amount of breastfeeding for someone who has never given birth or breastfed, my laptop, and Random Man. The cheesy online dream dictionary summary of interpretation is as follows: 1. Pregnancy symbolizes some aspect of your life developing but you might not be ready to act on it (unfortunately since I didn’t know about mine I’m not sure this counts); 2. Forgetting a baby means that you feel burdened taking care of someone else; 3. Breastfeeding means nurturing and suggests that you should be careful who you confide in; 4. Laptops signify the need to reach out and communicate with others under any circumstance; and 5. Random Man may symbolize the masculine part of myself, meaning the assertive, rational and aggressive side according to the cheesy online dream dictionary, or he may represent wisdom, forgiveness and friendly daily advice.