Peace Corps Magazine Questionnaire

So, Peace Corps Volunteers put out this magazine with profiles of volunteers who are leaving. A friend tells me I should share my profile:

In Rinconada Llicuar I worked as a trash cheerleader and camp counselor, taught yoga once in a while, did self-esteem and leadership work with youth in jail, coordinated previously non-existent communication between local groups, read stories to kids, stamped of all sorts of documents, painted murals, and my favorite, became a professional nudge of people who are not particularly interested in outside input. We started a trash project with the local government, youth health promoter programs in two elementary schools, and a hygiene promotion program that included installing running water in a school. It was quite a ride and totally worth it.

1. Most useful thing you learned in training
A Peru 4 guy whose name I don’t remember came up to Sta. Eulalia and we were hanging out in the cancha de fulbito when he told me, “Just don’t do anything that you don’t want to do.” Oddly miraculous.

2. Most amusing misconception about the U.S. that you’ve heard at your site:
Mister Kennedy, from the WWF is apparently my next door neighbor in Texas.

3. Least favorite project in your Peace Corps experience:
Hands down, my least favorite project happened when the club de recreación that I started formed a volleyball team. Just say no to organized sporting events as I don’t think that there’s a word for “sportsmanship” in Spanish.

4. What movie most resembles your PC experience?
Christmas Vacation. It hurts at the time, but is hilarious after the fact, and like Chevy Chase I just keep bringing it upon myself.

5. Why your host family made your two years more enjoyable/interesting/survivable:
My host mom made me cucumber salad almost every day AND listened to me cry AND loves to gossip. She’s awesome.

6. Why your host family made you want to run and hide in your room:
My host mom is very concerned about my getting married, preferably soon, preferably to her brother or the mayor. 30 too old to be single and beautiful... Thanks?

7. Most share-worthy puking story:
My wee neighbor Milagros loves to swing really high in my hammock but I usually don’t let her for fear that she’ll fall out. One day, were playing football with the kids on the block and she disappeared. I went into my house looking for her and found a little puddle of puke under my hammock. Using my keen detective skills, I followed the puke trail across the street to her house and found her there looking green. I asked her what happened and she said that she wasn’t going to swing too high in the hammock anymore. I had no idea I should have been worrying about her getting motion sick.

8. Most share worthy story involving your underwear:
When I moved in my host family’s only connection to the public waste water was their new toilet and we were dumping all waste water down there. One day as I was washing clothes I went to dump out the grayish soapy water and I saw a white cotton pair of undies rush out of the bucket into the toilet and disappear into what should be never-ever land. Of course I tried to catch them because as we all know cotton underwear that actually fits is no easy find in Peru. Sadly, my white cotton undies slipped off the tips of my fingers and went right down the toilet. I already had my hand in the toilet from trying to catch them, so then I tried like hell to fish them out, until I started to retch because I recovered my wits and realized where my hand was. Then I had to go tell my host dad that I backed up the plumbing for his household of 7. He listened kindly to my garbled story, turned bright red, and started to giggle as he asked me, “You really put your hand down the toilet?!” Then he went next door and told the whole story to the neighbor.

9. If you could change one thing about Peru, what would it be?
People would have enough self-esteem and confidence to express their creativity. (I plan to work on making that change in the US too.)

10. Why your province is obviously better than all the rest:
Piura! The land of eternal sunshine, awesome beaches, Costabella, ceviche, mangoes, Cappuccinos, Aaron, Tessa, Alyssa, Lizzi, Patrick, Tania, and I’m there.

11. Any meal item you tolerate in Peru that you would never have eaten back in the States?
Did you know that it is actually possible to eat a cow’s hoof?

12. Peruvian cuisine that you’ll get a craving for when you’re back in the States:
Ceviche, cremoladas, my host mom’s sudado, maracuya, little tiny bananas, fried sweet bananas, limones, lime juice as the world’s most versatile condiment, limas, habas, cremoladas, guanabana, lucuma, cremoladas, guayaba, ciurela, cremoladas, pepinillo dulce, cremoladas, queso fresco, mangoes by the quintal, cremoladas, cherimoyas, vinagre de chicha, pollo a la brasa and did I mention cremoladas?

13. Favorite coping mechanism:
Calling up one of my amazing, fabulous, hardcore, funny PVC compañeros and ranting. Playing football (American football a la Nerf) with my neighbor boys. Chocolate. Reading trashy novels.

14. Advice for the newbies:
See number 1.

15. Biggest surprise encountered during your service:
When my friend Rosa asked me if I knew what yoga was and if I could teach it. I’m serious. That really happened.
Or, when during my first visit to Rinconada I was forced to sing the Star Spangled Banner in front of 200 people.

16. What´s your legacy?
I ran every day (we’re talking legend, not reality). We put in running water at the elementary school. I did not marry the mayor.

17. What´s next?
Job. Will work for bagels.

18. Craziest thing a Peruvian has tried to convince you of:
Chucaque, an illness you get from being embarrassed, gives you a cold. To cure it, you rub a newspaper all over you and then set it on fire on a cement floor. Read the burn mark it leaves so that you know what gave you chucaque and you can either get revenge or avoid it. My cold did go away afterwards. I just couldn’t go to the police station anymore.

19. Any random first impressions you had of fellow Peru 8ers:
Andrew very kindly offered to help me carry my luggage when I arrived at the Holiday Inn in DC. I think Mike sin barba hid those moccasins with the fringe under his bed in Tumbes.

20. Will you listen to cumbia in the US?
YES! I’m not ashamed to admit that I sing along to Grupo 5.

21. How will you spend your PC readjustment allowance?
Traveling and I expect I’ll have to buy a suit. Okay, actually I have a whole wardrobe already in mind. It does not include anything made of fleece.

22. Best compliment you have received in Peru:
Really, really good looking man at Queens discoteca: “You dance well, for a gringa.” Also, I’m almost convinced that I am both tall and blonde.

23. Favorite discovery in Peru:
Cremoladas de maracuya and pod casts. Also, trekking is super fun.

24. What your community/host family considers your strangest behavior:
Running, eating vegetables, putting trash in bags, reading, not being married, and moving to Peru without my family.

25. If you could do it all over again, would you? Would you change anything?
I would start slower, talk less and listen more. But, for all my mistakes I had a really, really good time and made amazing friends.

26. What made your site tolerable?
The afore mentioned amazing friends, my hammock, my bike, my host mom’s sudado de pescado, and the amazing maracuya.

27. What makes Peru 8 PCVs stand out?
Tame is better and involves more singing around campfires.

28. Most amusing pick-up line given or received:
A taxi driver told me, “Baby, marry me and I’ll take you wherever you want to go!” Uh, couldn’t I just pay you the S/.2? What an embarrassingly low bride price.

29. Favorite Peruvian holiday: Velaciones. Definitely.

30. What story of yours most frightened family members back home:
Hi Mom, I’m teaching a leadership seminar to some guys at the jail. No, they’re just first time offenders.

31. Did folks from home visit your site? What happened?
My mom and dad came to visit and the kids at the school where I work put on a show of traditional dances for them: marinera, huayno, and a lip-sync to Shakira. It was also my birthday so they sang me happy birthday and them made me dance a waltz with every male in attendance. And since it made me cry they all love to tell that story.

32. Favorite Spanish word/phrase/dicho:
Sí o sí. Yes or yes. As in: Today we're having a meeting, yes or yes (no matter what).
Encamotarse: to sweet potato or to fall in love

33. Fullest that you have ever seen a mototaxi/combi/bus:
It’s a tie. In both instances the mototaxis had their backseats removed: 1. Two hog-tied full-grown, alive horses. 2. Two calves, that’s right live baby cows. Folks in bajo Piura can do amazing things with a moto.

34. Most text messages that you have received from a Peruvian in love in 1 hour:
45. I wish that I were exaggerating. To be fair, I returned about 20 of them. He was cute until he was crazy and I had a lot of time on my hands, okay?

35. Most beautiful place that you have encountered in your time in Peru:
Either the sunset over the Rio Marañon on the way to Iquitos or Catarata de Gocta in Amazonas. Breathtaking.