Washington DC

The job search continues even though I'm in an office all day, seemingly job having. It's my first time back in an office since I left to go to Peace Corps, so since August of 2006. It's only temporary and it's the perfect way to ease back into the working world. I loved being a Peace Corps Volunteer. I had a great time and I know that my projects made a great difference. So, now I'm temping at headquarters and although the work that I'm doing will probably not rock anyone's world I appreciate being there and know that it's a great opportunity to be in on the action.

At the same time I'm still looking for a job and I'm living in a new city. I turned 31 recently as since I am now officially in my 30s I want a job that will move me in the direction of my goals, so I'm reluctant to take just any job that comes along. There are so many interesting jobs to be done, it's tough to really focus and clearly define my central ambition. If I'm really honest my true, most important ambitions include things like having a family. I also want to have a super cool, stimulating, meaningful job. And so the job search continues.

In other news, I realized late yesterday afternoon that it was my ex-fiancee's birthday. He called me on my aforementioned, recent 31st birthday. I try to maintain a positive relationship friends with all of my exes, some are even good friends, but he's different. I want to be kind and respectful as I do still love him. But, I don't really want to talk to him. Ahh the wonder of the Facebook wall.

Capitol 10K

I'm running! Come and join us. I'm currently reviewing suggestions for costumes.

The job search saga, Part I

I just got back from Peace Corps and I use "just" loosely as today is day 71 stateside. I've been earnestly looking for a job for about a month now. I kicked off my personal quest with a career workshop and job fair by the Peace Corps's Career Services Office. I had done some job search work before the workshop, but not very genuinely or consistently. Last summer, while still a volunteer I started doing some online federal applications back in Peru, thinking of them as practice. Toward the end of service I was so busy that I had to stop. Very recently I learned that there's definitely a system for success in the federal application and I started out totally uninformed and on the wrong track. A few different resources helped me get on track. The Peace Corps Career Services is really top notch and my undergraduate's was pretty helpful too. My grad school office probably would be helpful as well, but they're hard to use remotely. For practical advice on applying for on federal jobs I found MakingTheDifference.org to be very, very helpful.

Results have been slow going for me, although I can't really complain because it has only been a month. In December, in my completely uninformed frame of mind USAID actually flew me to Washington DC to interview for my dream job, based on one of those "practice" applications!!! Sadly, but not surprisingly, I think I blew it. I was "not invited into pre-employment at this time." My oral interview was a panel in an odd room and I don think that they could actually hear me. Also, the complete absence of follow-up questions threw me for a loop, but is apparently standard in federal interviews. I think that they were trying to be impartial, but because I was unprepared for it, it just made for difficult communication. Also, it was my firs time speaking professional English in a year so that was challenging. The upshot is that they told me to reapply because they're lowering the bar a bit... uh thanks? Don't worry I have already reapplied :)

We're dealing with the worst economy in my lifetime and I'm looking for the best job of my life. Frankly, I think I'll get it. I'm a glass-half-full kind of girl. I'm 30. I've worked since I got out of college and I got an MA somewhere in there, so my next gig should really be a "career builder." I want to stay there for a good while, I need it to pay decently and I need it to have good mentoring and growth opportunities. Maybe it could also wax my car and wash my clothes, but seriously if the posts are any indication I really do think that there is a job out there. I'll just have to be open and creative. I'm applying mostly to federal positions so it's taking a while.

Quick and unrelated vignette on why Texans are the best people ever: I just got a phone call from my godmother's cell phone. When I answered the call a woman named Stephanie said that she worked at JCPenny's and that another customer just found the phone in a dressing room. She was randomly dialing numbers to speak with someone who knew the phone's owner. I said that I would certainly tell her and that my godmother works at Nordstrom's in the same mall so she's probably still there. Stephanie said, Oh does she work in alterations? Why yes she does. So, they know each other and my godmother's phone is waiting for her at the catalog counter in the hands of her acquaintance, recently turned friend.

In Defense of Food, ceviche and Dora's wisdom

In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan is blowing my mind. It's like an historically grounded summary of what you always knew - Diet Coke just can't be that good for you, my grandma's oatmeal cookies are in fact nutritious and delicious, and vitamins must be overrated because they're not actually food. In fact, its what my adoptive Peruvian mother was saying when she constantly asked me why Americans eat only food that comes from a can. I of course said, "Americans eat all kinds of fresh foods, not just foods from cans, blah, blah, blah." Now that I'm back I'm realizing that the brick-shaped frozen fruits and veggies, sealed tubs of organic spinach, sealed bags of salad, Duncan Hines cake mixes, cans of tuna and Goya beans, Kraft shredded cheese in a bag, sliced 12 grain bread in a bag, pita chips, plastic tubs of hummus, etc. are very, very different from her diet (okay, well that one I actually picked up in Peru when I was desperately missing tofu bagel shmear) and that she would not recognize any of these packaged products as being safe to feed to her kids.

The readjustment process coming back to the US from Peru after Peace Corps is coming along. I'm in Austin decompressing, noting differences that I never noticed before, spending time with my family and looking for a job... in that order. Even in my very traditional family, with whom I'm spending lots of quality time of late, family dinners are not so much cooked as assembled. Today we had savory, amazing enchiladas a la my mom made with ground turkey. All of the ingredients had wrappers except for the onions. Just to put it out there my mom is a woman who breast fed 4 infants for more than 6 months each, made baby food with a food processor, and would only allow us to buy that gross natural peanut butter where the oil separates and sits on top. She is not exactly a processed food princess. None the less the food at the supermarket is very... industrial.

In thinking about food, I want to post photos of a ceviche making extravaganza from northern Peru. The fish here is cabrillon... which I think is sea bass. This is a pricey fish even in rural norther Peru where these ladies' husbands work catching it. Usually these families eat fish called cabrilla, which is mackerel and a lot less yummy but this day was a special day. There was a huge party at town hall celebrating something or other. I don't remember exactly what but the mayor bought enough fish to feed an army.

I only just told Dora, my Peruvian adoptive mother, that I broke up with Michael (former fiancee) almost 2 months ago, and that Peace Corps jetted me off to the US from Lima on less than 48 hours notice. I explained the why of the matter, that when we got to Lima he changed. She took the opportunity to thank god that I had left and tell me that she never had liked that boy, he wasn't down to earth enough for me - of course. Then again, if you ask me pretty much anyone other than an incredibly handsome, kind, humble and fabulously rich doctor would have been less than desirable according to Dora.

So I'll leave you with Pollan's words of wisdom, "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." And I'll add, in good company.

Happy Peace Corps Week!

Peace Corps takes a week every year to promote their "third goal" which means that they educate Americans about people and cultures around the world where Peace Corps works. In conjunction with National Peace Corps Week I had the great privilege of speaking to all 300 or so of the students at an Austin-area middle school called the Ann Richard's School for Young Women Leaders on Wednesday morning. It's a public middle school for girls. The students were specially invited to attend, sort of like a magnet school and it shows. I was so impressed with the students. It was such a privilege to be there for a few reasons. First, the girls were so bright and interested. An 8th grader asked me what people in my town had taught me while I was a volunteer. Another girl asked me how the Peace Corps could help in places like Darfur because she was very concerned about the conflict there. Those girls are just stunning. Second, the principal was my high school English teacher. She was that amazing teacher in my life. She pushed and pushed me to create, achieve and take risks that I never would have taken otherwise. She was also super strict and was frequently referred to as the Dragon Lady. In fact I vaguely remember that the Haydon boys, skinny rodeo clown twins in my class, posted a cartoon of a dragon on her classroom door as a joke. I think it lived there for the entire 4 years I was in high school at St. Michael's Catholic Academy. It was a great experience to have this demanding woman see my work. Third, the school's Texas history teacher will soon become my sister in law. (Big Party here in June!) I'm happy to say that I think I may have scored her some points at work. Finally, I have been back in the states for 65 days today. It's helpful to me to talk about Peace Corps as I readjust and start to look for a job. Speaking of jobs, got any leads?

Austin Bikes

Riding bicycles in Austin is fabulous. I mean who doesn't love to ride a bike? AND here in Austin it's warm, other bikers and drivers are generally friendly, and people think that you are forever hip if you show up at a party on your vintage Schwinn roadster instead of your old battered Honda. Let's be honest. It's just all about the digits.

I grew up in Austin but I haven't lived here in years. After I left I always took my bike with me. When I lived in Brooklyn, NY and in Rinconada Llicuar, rural northern Peru I rode a bike all over. One develops skills. In Park Slope, Brooklyn I was frequently being run off the road by aggressive women pushing baby carriages, only to then be picked up by attractive delivery guys bicycling Thai food to some hipster's houses. I thought that this situation balanced itself out. In Peru, The Gringa (i.e. me) doing anything was an incredible show for everyone in town, so The Gringa being the only woman to ride a bike was very entertaining for all. Role modeling, blah, blah, blah, but sometimes you just want to get where you're going so I took to riding through the rice fields where I got many fewer cat calls. Now that I'm back in Austin I have been surprised to discover that when it comes to road riding, Austin is treacherous despite it's green living and outdoors loving reputation.

It's true. There really are a lot of bicyclists in Austin riding outside and keeping their carbon emissions down in their morning commute, so you would think that drivers would be used to trying to avoid killing them. I guess traffic just varies so much. If you're riding during rush hour people are inching along impatiently, staring holes into the bumper in front of them and really they're not going very fast so it feels safer. Any other time drivers seem like they are barely looking at the windshield, much more interested in the radio, the iPhone, or the crying baby in the backseat. I feel almost ridiculous wearing my helmet when a Ford F150 pickup speeds past me grazing my earlobe on Enfield. I'm on a bike. That truck weighs a ton. There is no delivery guy to pick me up and invite me to dinner later. In any case, I know that living in central Austin is a lucky break for someone who loves bikes. There are some bike paths, even if they don't always go where you need to go. And like I said if drivers are paying attention they're usually helpful.

In sum, I am proudly announcing that on Sunday I rode down Enfield, a busy street, to meet my brother for coffee. I guess I figured that he's a resourceful guy, he would notice if I didn't show up and come looking for me. Right? It's only like a 10 minute ride from the house to Medici Cafe at West Lynn and 10th St. It was a very proud ten minutes and I highly recommend Medici for a victory chocolate chip cupcake.

You gotta watch that miss

I almost never remember my dreams and I’m always jealous of all of the people who do remember what their subconscious was working through during their brains’ mini-vacations. In fact I get so jealous that I sort of hate listening to my friends’ dreams, but in spite of myself I love it when they try to think through what the weird and incongruous unreality might mean. So, I was giddy this morning when I realized that I remembered my dream. Last night I was awakened by a false smoke alarm (low batteries, all is well) and I think that because I was not sleeping quite so soundly I had a crystalline, memorable dream. I awoke terrified that it was real and was touching my arms and feeling around in my bed to try to get in touch with reality. Touching the sheet, smelling the waking, I realized where I was and had to smile.

I dreampt that was pregnant but for the entire pregnancy I hadn’t known it. Then, one day I was in the mall in Texas and just had a baby, not gave birth, just had a baby in my arms. The dream sort of skipped over the birth process. It was a girl. Oddly, in my dream I knew and was reasoning with all of the real details of my life. I recently returned from Peru, I even more recently ended it with my fiancée on a positive note; I am looking for work, etc. So, I had this baby and I sat down to breastfeed her in the neon encrusted and greasy smelling food court of south Austin’s own Barton Creek Mall. I walked away from the table and had a panic attack when I couldn’t find her. I guess she sort of slipped off while I was breastfeeding her and I didn’t notice. In my dream I was thinking, “Gee, this feels exactly like it felt when I was on my way to visit my family in St. Louis and I forgot my laptop at the gate in the airport.” I immediately ran back to the table and found the dream baby girl laying underneath, not crying but just waving her arms and legs and being a pre-person. The guy at the next table looked over, saw me picking her up and laughingly said, “Oh thank goodness. You gotta watch that miss.” Uh thanks random man. Maybe pick up the stranded baby next time?! Relief washed over me and then lightning struck, “Gasp. My ex-fiancée. She’s his too. How will he want to handle this? Good thing he’s far away.” The flash of light a la ex also brought new meaning to Random Man’s comment. “You gotta watch that miss.” I walked away breastfeeding the baby girl and wondering how to explain my personal immaculate conception and miracle birth to my parents. Then I thought, “You know, you are 30…”

Maybe this means that I will someday give birth to a laptop?

In sum there’s the unknown pregnancy, forgetting the baby girl, an odd amount of breastfeeding for someone who has never given birth or breastfed, my laptop, and Random Man. The cheesy online dream dictionary summary of interpretation is as follows: 1. Pregnancy symbolizes some aspect of your life developing but you might not be ready to act on it (unfortunately since I didn’t know about mine I’m not sure this counts); 2. Forgetting a baby means that you feel burdened taking care of someone else; 3. Breastfeeding means nurturing and suggests that you should be careful who you confide in; 4. Laptops signify the need to reach out and communicate with others under any circumstance; and 5. Random Man may symbolize the masculine part of myself, meaning the assertive, rational and aggressive side according to the cheesy online dream dictionary, or he may represent wisdom, forgiveness and friendly daily advice.

Lychee-Coconut Cupcakes with Ginger Frosting 4 stars, Dallas airport 2 stars

In my post-Peace Corps stupor where I live in awe of hot running water, wall-to-wall carpeting, and being pretty clean most of the time, I've started baking but I'm also starting to lose my mind. In some countries this is considered progress. The lychee-coconut cupcakes with ginger frosting got rave reviews from my friends and family. The lychee is subtle, if you're not told that the lychee there it just seems like an extra tasty, mildly coconut cake. The cream cheese frosting that includes ground and fresh grated ginger with candied ginger on top really won everyone over. I cannot say that I followed the recipe exactly. I started to but I used coconut cream from a can instead of from the package like they suggest because I had it in the pantry already. Maybe that was the problem, but the batter for the cakes was really, really thick, probably thicker than toothpaste and sticky, which seemed problematic. So, to make it just a tad thinner I used about 1/3 cup warm water and about 1/3 cup liquid from the can of lychee fruit. In the end they were moist and had a good texture, but the frosting... make the frosting. I even used low-fat cream cheese and it was so fabulous.

So now I'm on my way to St. Louis, MO to visit family. As you might expect the Dallas airport is mostly very uninspiring. But, the reason that I'm in the Dallas airport inspired me. I was getting on my 5pm direct flight to St. Louis when I realized that my laptop that I was bringing along to continue to look for jobs and show my grandma my photos from Peace Corps, was not in my hot little hand. EEEEK! Heart attack! In this moment I was literally handing the gate agent my ticket so I had to run out of line and look in the waiting area. It was GONE! An airport employee saw me nervously pacing around the waiting room and as we do not like nervous people in airports, doing unexpected things like running out of line, he came to see what was the matter. When he realized that I was looking for something he smiled.

"Green laptop?"

"Oh my God, YES!" I squealed like a sorority girl.

"Already down in lost and found."

WHAT?!?! You have to love Texas and so many places in the US where leaving your laptop in the airport waiting area in the middle of major financial hardship for most people results in it ending up in the airport lost and found and not in you losing all of those half done job applications, all of your Peace Corps photos and the $600 that it cost you. I could have kissed this man, except I was busy problem solving how to get to my grandma's house. Unfortunately, because the lost and found is far away from the gates and outside of security I missed the plane to go and get it. Then my new, indirect flight left late so I missed my connection. American wouldn't pay for the hotel so the Peace Corps budget had me sleeping in the airport. That I believe is bunk, but whatever. I slept on a Coleman cot, with my laptop, in the back corner of the employee lounge after kindly gate agent took pity on me. Trying to regain my mental acuity is a bumpy road but, the road is sweet with cream cheese-ginger frosting.

The Unforseen cupcake on day 25 back in the US

I borrowed these images from edwardsaquifer.net

I'm starting to feel reemerged in the place and culture of my hometown. Austin is famous for being a cool, young, fun, creative place to live and like all Austinites I'm proud of that reputation but, the growth that Austin has experienced between the time I was a small child in far south Austin and today is ambiguously breathtaking. It's like I don't know if I'm once again watching the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen from the top of the hill at Davis Lane and William Cannon, or if I've been hit in the stomach with freeways, toll roads, and people who literally have bumper stickers advertising their zip code like it's freaking Beverly Hills. That and I'm lost all the time. I literally have no idea where all these freeways go. I guess my excuse is that I've really only lived here about 3 of the last 13 years. I can't stay but I can't really stay away either.

I'm so fortunate that some dear friends who served in the Peace Corps live here in Austin. Angela, Patrick and I went out to St. Edward's University last night where they were showing a movie called The Unforeseen about the growth down in south and west Austin and the fight local environmental groups put up to protect Barton Creek and the Edward's Aquifer. If you're not from here it's hard to explain what these mean for Austin. The creek feeds an huge natural swimming pool that is a place every Austinite remembers fondly and where many, many of us learned to swim. The Aquifer is the drinking water for all of the surrounding area but it also creates a really interesting ecosystem around here. If you're traveling here from west Texas you really notice when you get to the Hill Country because there is just so much more water. Anyway the fight to protect it was complicated because people wanted to move to this great place and economic growth is good for those of us who have been here a while. And a lot of it happened about 5 minutes down the road from the house I where I grew up. The film does great justice to the complex picture and interests at play, particularly for the main developer of the time Gary Bradley. It would have been easy, but not very compelling to make a movie about the greedy and evil land developer. Laura Dunn chose instead to examine the power and influence of our economic system in each of our lives.

So, as I deal with my ongoing reverse culture shock I'm going to make cupcakes. My brother recently moved out of a house where he lived with roommate who was a chef. We found tons of prepared Asian foods buried in the depths of the pantry, including canned lychee fruits and coconut cream. I'm off to make some Lychee-Coconut Cupcakes with Ginger-Cream Cheese Frosting. I'll tell you how they turn out.

Robert Frost's Inaugural Poem for President John F. Kennedy

I'm watching the inauguration of Barack Obama, my country's first black president. This poem about becoming was read by Robert Frost at Kennedy's inauguration.

~ The Gift Outright ~

The land was ours before we were the land's.
She was our land more than a hundred years
Before we were her people. She was ours
In Massachusetts, in Virginia.
But we were England's, still colonials,
Possessing what we still were unpossessed by,
Possessed by what we now no more possessed.
Something we were withholding made us weak.
Until we found out that it was ourselves
We were withholding from our land of living,
And forthwith found salvation in surrender.
Such as we were we gave ourselves outright
(The deed of gift was many deeds of war)
To the land vaguely realizing westward,
But still unstoried, artless, unenhanced,
Such as she was, such as she would become.

~ Robert Frost; 1874-1963 ~

And we're back!

The last sunset in Rinconada.

I had to take a break from blogging for a while. I see this blog as sharing my experiences, what I'm learning, and what's going on in my bubble. For a while there was just so much happening so quickly that I didn't know how to summarize it for your reading pleasure. I missed you and I do apologize for my unexplained absence. Thanks to all of my friends and blog readers who contacted me to make sure that all is well.

So, my life in brief since Nov. 2, 2008:

Nov. 4: I closed Peace Corps service. DONE! My fiancee, Michael and I watched my country elect the first African-American President from a raucous and celebratory living room filled with gringos in Lima, Peru.

Nov. 6 - 13: I bussed it up to Ancash,Peru and hiked the Santa Cruz trail, a 3 day hike that reached 4,700 meters in the central Andes.

Nov. 19 - Dec. 9: I flew down to Argentina with my friends Casey, Amanda and Travis for a 3 week adventure. We visited the bottom of the world, Ushuaia where we hung out with a very kind guide named Leo. Then we bussed it up to El Calefate and El Chalten where we hiked in some beautiful mountains and celebrated Thanksgiving with Argentinian beef and a delicious Argentinean Malbec. Further north, in Bariloche I got hoppin' mad with a guy who nearly erased all of my photos when he was trying to burn them onto a CD. To calm my nerves Casey and I tasted copious amounts of wine and rode bikes in Mendoza, where I discovered that not all pink wine is gross. And finally, in Buenos Aires we ate lots of beef at fabulous restaurants, drank lots of wine, and watched living tango chess in a park.

Dec. 9 - 16: I returned to Lima where Michael and I spent a week with my parents and his family, getting to know one another and having meals together.

Dec. 17 - 20: I went to Washington DC for an interview with the US Agency for International Development (USAID). They freaking paid for me to go to DC from Lima for 3 days! I was stunned. I really didn't believe that it was actually going to happen.

Dec 24: I celebrated la Noche Buena with Michael's family in Lima. Missed my family terribly and felt more than a little guilty that I didn't go home for Christmas. But, I got over it and partied it up with Michael's family.

Dec 29: I realized that Michael and I have some pretty profound issues to work out and that I wasn't going to be able to resolve them from Peru, so far from my regular US life. I called up Peace Corps to ask them to fly me home, about 2 weeks earlier than expected. I received an email from USAID saying that I was no longer being considered for the position. :(

Dec 30 - 31: Flew to Austin arrived Dec 31 around 2:30PM.

Dec 31: I rang in the New Year with my parents, brother and his nearest and dearest at a party in his new condo. We toasted to love and life and my own shamelessness. My family was so happy to see me that they even took a temporary break from being mad at me for not being home at Christmas.

Jan 1: I gave out all of the Argentinian Christmas gifts that I had been saving for my family.

Jan 2: I bought and iPhone and some new underwear, and later obsessed about fabric for bridesmaid's dresses in my brother's wedding with his fiancee. She settled on shiny green for her big day in June.

Jan 3: I started actively hiding in my parent's house because I realized that everything in the US is huge, loud and fast. But, decided that I must escape once in a while to take advantage of my 10 day free trial gym membership.

Jan 6: I went to the social security office to try to replace my lost card, but I left after about 10 minutes of feeling like I was inside a Far Side cartoon and decided to return to hiding in the house. While I was hiding in the house I decided to call up the consulting firm that does the USAID interviews and see about what went awry only to discover that I didn't NOT get the job! It's not a "yes we love you" but, it's way better than a "no and please don't call again." The email that I received on Dec. 29 was an automated email generated when the online application service purged my application, but USAID IS still considering my application. YIPPEE!! a better kind of unemployed.

Jan 9: I did some more hiding in house and bought some makeup in an attempt to recover from the oh so glamorous Peace Corps-look.

Current state of affairs: I'm in Austin for at least a month and probably two. I'm still engaged and we're working on our problems. I'm looking for a job in a really rough job market. I'm going to visit family in St. Louis Jan. 28 - Feb. 4 and will be in Washington, DC for more job search fun Feb. 10 - 13.